Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.
Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge
and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current
operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer
disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a
module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely
turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being
properly installed. Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "
Error - Program not run on external components ." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on
Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms,
it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files:
Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will
overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.
Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty
your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files.
Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying
themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets
it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up.
Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet.
They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: Thank you, God.
---
(unknow author. Thanks, Pilar)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
JIll Bolte´s stroke
Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another.
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229
(thanks Barbara)
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229
(thanks Barbara)
Thursday, February 7, 2008
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons , you'll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
Well, my job is done .....Your turn.
---
(author: unknown - thanks Dr.Cocco)
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons , you'll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
Well, my job is done .....Your turn.
---
(author: unknown - thanks Dr.Cocco)
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Emotional Nutrition
Some time ago, since I started working with people who wanted to control their weight, I have been introducing the concept of emotional nutrition.
This emotional nutrition has nothing to do with what you eat. Nor would on the contrary, because it is not.
This emotional nutrition relates to the need of pleasure that we have in life. Pleasure is needed, in this level of terrestrial existence.
The emotional nutrition makes us rest in these stages of suffering or sacrifice that life brings us.
Buddha said: "There is pleasure and there is bliss. Renounce the first to create the second."
I suggest not, in an initial phase, such sacrifice. What I suggest is the creation and activation of other pleasures, superior to other more carnal and primitive pleasures.
What I suggest is to seek and activate other pleasures as the pursuit of smile, the encounter with nature, the meeting with the culture and with the intelligence, and the voluntary assistance, the creation of good moments ...
If you like to go to the movies go, if you like to walk through the mountain walk, if you like to write write, if you like to sing sing, if you like to help help, if you like to be with your friends be, if you like to read a good book read ...
Nourish yourself emotionally. With a big advantage: the emotional nutrition is not parasitic but symbiotic, when you nourish yourself emotionally you nourish your system/environment.
Nourish yourself now !
This emotional nutrition has nothing to do with what you eat. Nor would on the contrary, because it is not.
This emotional nutrition relates to the need of pleasure that we have in life. Pleasure is needed, in this level of terrestrial existence.
The emotional nutrition makes us rest in these stages of suffering or sacrifice that life brings us.
Buddha said: "There is pleasure and there is bliss. Renounce the first to create the second."
I suggest not, in an initial phase, such sacrifice. What I suggest is the creation and activation of other pleasures, superior to other more carnal and primitive pleasures.
What I suggest is to seek and activate other pleasures as the pursuit of smile, the encounter with nature, the meeting with the culture and with the intelligence, and the voluntary assistance, the creation of good moments ...
If you like to go to the movies go, if you like to walk through the mountain walk, if you like to write write, if you like to sing sing, if you like to help help, if you like to be with your friends be, if you like to read a good book read ...
Nourish yourself emotionally. With a big advantage: the emotional nutrition is not parasitic but symbiotic, when you nourish yourself emotionally you nourish your system/environment.
Nourish yourself now !
---
Public Lectures (non-paid attendance) - portuguese
>> "Hipnose - De Observador a Criador de Pensamentos" - 13 de Dezembro - 21h00 - Lisboa CHCI Centro de Hipnose Clínica Ibérico
---
Next Workshops (portuguese)
>> 15th November - 10h-17h - Sintra (Quinta dos Lobos) - Portugal
> 17th and 18th December - 19h00/22h00 - Porto - (MRS Porto - Sá da Bandeira)
> 27th and 28th December - 19h00/22h00 - Lisboa CHCI Centro de Hipnose Clínica Ibérico
> 29th December - 10h-17h - Lisboa CHCI Centro de Hipnose Clínica Ibérico
(more info in Portuguese)
---
este blog em português (http://www.hipnozz.blogspot.com/)
este blog en e spañol (http://www.hipnozzis.blogspot.com/)
ce blog en français (prochainement)
Public Lectures (non-paid attendance) - portuguese
>> "Hipnose - De Observador a Criador de Pensamentos" - 13 de Dezembro - 21h00 - Lisboa CHCI Centro de Hipnose Clínica Ibérico
---
Next Workshops (portuguese)
>> 15th November - 10h-17h - Sintra (Quinta dos Lobos) - Portugal
> 17th and 18th December - 19h00/22h00 - Porto - (MRS Porto - Sá da Bandeira)
> 27th and 28th December - 19h00/22h00 - Lisboa CHCI Centro de Hipnose Clínica Ibérico
> 29th December - 10h-17h - Lisboa CHCI Centro de Hipnose Clínica Ibérico
(more info in Portuguese)
---
este blog em português (http://www.hipnozz.blogspot.com/)este blog en e spañol (http://www.hipnozzis.blogspot.com/)
ce blog en français (prochainement)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
